Just a Guy

But doesn’t it bother you?
It used to, but not anymore.
Things have been just going on for me
The life feels stale, the breath a burden
Someday, I hope never, you might feel this too

Is this all you see? All you wish for?
Hunnie, I died years ago; I am just a husk
A shell of what I could have been
A ghost of what I could be
I have become the very thing I abhor

What is it then? What do you want to be?
Nothing! Nothing is what I wish to become
Nothing but dust on the bed
To wake up – as a nonliving being

So you wait for the end, is that it?
More like I wait for the same ol spark of a smile
Genuine upside frown, but I know it all for naught
What I seek is to be free from misery

So why wait for the end – why not the splash colors?
Because the world is all black and grey for me
I live in a world of muted colors, for both emotions and the worlds I slur
The life for me is nothing but a blur

Is this the end, the end of innocence?
No, my inner self, it’s is still there
But I just don’t have the will to pick it up anymore,
No will to save it, no will to defend

Why – You used to be so different!
You know as well as I do, buddy
You are a part of me – a voice within
You know why I wait for the end

But that doesn’t make your existence right!
I know it doesn’t, but it is what I have become,
What I am – a husk of the past with no will to continue
In the end, I am just a guy who has lost the will to fight!
In the end, I am just a guy who has lost the will to fight!

• Kuroka